Thinking today about the nature of embarassment, how it’s a completely worthless and ineffective feeling. What is it? How does it serve me to be embarassed about something? It doesn’t, except to give me the chance to prove that I realize that cultural standards exist, acknowledge that I’m not following them, and apologize for that. Fuck that! To be embarassed about my actions or thoughts INVALIDATES them. Embarassment perpetuates the status quo by apologizing for and feeling bad about doing something beyond it.

So instead, when I notice myself feeling embarassed about something, I want to look deeper and see WHY I feel bad about crossing a cultural barrier. Is it just about how other people will respond to me? I think people respond more to the energy of embarassment or confidence more than they do to any actual action or words. So my lesson for me is to trust myself, to act and speak with the confidence of believing that whatever I’m doing is just fine, and let embarassment evaporate along with whatever cultural barriers I think I’m supposed be constrained by.

Advertisements